An old woman in a Doctors office

An old woman in a Doctors office

Yesterday while sitting in a doctor’s office I saw an older woman in a wheel chair accompanied by a CNA who was taking care of her needs.  She had dementia and was talking loudly like a child, her voice high and shrill, speaking about something that seemed to have happened many years ago.  No one paid her any mind; her attendant did not respond too much since it was most likely something that went on all the time.  There she was, alone, ignored, and she just chatting away, perhaps not knowing that for some she was a simple annoyance.  Yet for her, this elderly woman, her world was real. She was alone, just talking about something that was in fact for her, very important.  In the inner world of each of us, there is no past, present, or future, it is all now. When in a demented state this reality becomes something all too real; where the past becomes the present and the ‘future’ the ‘now’ forgotten    I was reading a book to pass the time, but in my own heart I felt sad (and yes annoyed at the same time) and did what I could and that was pray for her and somehow be with her in her aloneness.  I know for some this sounds foolish, but for me, God, the eternal is the most real thing there is.  The ‘Now’ of God is eternal, our ’Now’ is  fleeting.  So yes it was sad. Yet this elderly woman is not just ‘meat’ but a being made in the image of God, so that makes the sadness perhaps manageable.  I don’t think faith is an escape from life, but allows those who have it to embrace the pain that comes without needing to run away; which I feel leads to self destructive actions and reactions as well.  Secular Humanism can do it for some, giving them the tools to face the absurdity of life and to keep going without giving in to despair. 

 As life progresses, at least for me, it becomes more dreamlike.  The far past and the present can at times seem very close; the water that is said to run under the bridge seems to disappear and there is only ‘now’.  This is at times a comfort, at others not.  Life is not what I thought when young and perhaps if I live to be 80 or 90, my understanding will continue to change…..boy that makes me wonder….what are we becoming?  What are we called to?  I think love has something to do with it, for that is what is longed for  and manifested all around us in our art, literature and yes music.  So the term "God is love", is not just a cliché, but telling us something about the actual nature of reality.  Imagine that.